First off I have to admit that I wasn't one of those girls who always wanted to be a mom. Of course when I was young I had dolls and I would play house just like most little girls, but as I got older I started to tell my family that I never wanted to get married and I never wanted to have kids. I specifically remember my older sister telling me that one day I'd change my mind, but I was like "yeah sure I will." I'm not even actually sure when my feelings did change and I thought maybe marriage and kids might not be so bad. I think it probably happened when I met my husband James as a sophomore in high school and after we had been dating for a couple years we started to talk about marriage and having kids.
Anyways regardless of when it happened it did and it hit me hard when we got married. On August 12, 2008 I married the love of my life when we were both only 19. Yes I know what you're all thinking and maybe we were crazy but it was right for us at that time. We never even thought to use birth control because first of all I have the hardest time swallowing pills so I prefer to not even try, second of all we were finally married so it was okay if we got pregnant right, and third of all we really wanted to have a baby so it was just fine with us if we had a honeymoon baby. Little did we know we wouldn't be having a honeymoon baby, or a baby by our first anniversary, or second and not even our third!
We started trying to have a baby as soon as we got married or rather than trying I should say we weren't preventing it because in the very beginning I don't think we knew all the ins and outs to getting pregnant, so I don't think we could consider us trying. Anyways the first month went by and my period was late and so I was thinking for sure I was pregnant, after all my period was never late. So I took the first of many tests I would ever take and BFN:( Well I wasn't really concerned because we had only been trying for one month and we were so young. So for the next year we just did our thing and hoped it would result in a BFP, but every month came and went with nothing to show for it.
This whole time I was thinking I was the problem because honestly I hadn't really heard about male infertility and whenever I thought about couples that couldn't get pregnant I would just assume something was wrong with the woman. I was so naive!! One night James and I were talking and I was just so frustrated that we weren't getting pregnant when all of a sudden he decides to bring up the fact that most likely it was him and that he had known this since he was about 12 and in boy scouts. I was so mad that he would wait this long to tell me and make me think something was wrong with me this whole time, so anyways I went straight to work to figure out what he had told me and what we could do about him problem. I read any book I could get my hands on that had to do with infertility and especially male factor infertility, and then when I realized what he had I found him a urologist to go see.
Well the doctor we found for James to go see was awesome, he was very nice and he truly cared about all our concerns. He did a physical exam for James and had us fill out some paperwork, just asking questions about if we were trying to get pregnant and if I had a doctor and all that stuff. He told us that he thought James had a varicocele but he wanted it confirmed with a scrotal ultrasound. We scheduled that for the next day and then left. So he had the scrotal ultrsound which I don't think James really appreciated, I mean what guy wants another man doing an ultrasound on their scrotum sorry tmi, but If I'm being open about everything that's the truth! So he did it and that's it, they didn't give us the results then he said our doctor would call us. About a week later or so Dr. Putman called us with the news that yes James did indeed have a very large varicocele and he would need to have surgery to remove it. I was kind of bummed but I thought that was going to be the case so I wasn't surprised. So we scheduled his surgery for September 4th and he went in a couple days before his surgery to have a semen analysis, to give us an idea of how bad everything was.
The results weren't too bad, he had a low sperm count which was to be expected with a varicocele and his motility was a little low but that's about it. By now you're probably thinking what the heck is a varicocele? Thanks for asking I'll explain. So basically it is like a varicose vein but instead of being in your legs it is in a man's scrotum, it's dilated veins and what happens is it makes the temperature of the scrotum just a little bit too hot for the production of sperm. Some sperm are still produced but usually they are shaped wrong or they don't swim very well Lol! So anyways I'm realizing this post is becoming oh so long so I'll speed it up and say he had his surgery everything went good with it, and he was told to come back in three months to have another semen analysis and check if the surgery improved things.
In the meantime or before this I can't quite remember I had my first appointment with Dr. Colby my OB/GYN who turned out to be such a nice man. He asked if we were trying to get pregnant and since we told him we had been trying for a year, he prescribed Clomid for me during days 3-7 of my cycle and also he told me he wanted me to have an HSG performed, now I know what you're thinking and yes I was wondering the exact thing what the heck is that and does it hurt? Well to answer the 1st question it is a test to check if your fallopian tubes are blocked and also if there are any fibroids or polyps in your uterus that might be impeding conception, who knew there could be so many reasons why a woman can't get pregnant it really makes you wonder how it actually happens all the time, all I can say is it is an absolute MIRACLE!! To answer the 2nd question it was really painful for me but I've heard it's different for every woman. It starts off like a normal pap smear where they insert a speculum and then they thread a catheter in the opening and inject it with some kind of dye. If the dye flows freely out your tubes you're all good, well I was all cleared YAY! So by now we were almost 100 % sure the issue was with James and he had the surgery so we thought we were good, little did we know we were far from achieving a pregnancy still.
So I'll just say now that we had two failed semen analsis', many changes in insurance so shifting around to different doctors, a couple times I went to the doctor because I was really late with my period which turned out to be a BFN, charting my temperature almost everyday, timing intercourse, getting my hopes up every month and then getting a negative everytime:( That pretty much sums up the whole next year, until I went to Dr. Colby one time because I was 12 days late and after the test was negative he basically said he thought I needed to go see a specialist because there wasn't really anything else he could do to help us get pregnant. Those are the words everyone going through infertility dreads hearing me included. I found Dr. Absolutely Amazing also known as Dr. Blauer who was absolutely worth every penny I paid to him ($333 for a one hour consultation I know gasp). Anyways he basically said the problem lies with James and we should do IUI, this brings us to today we're still trying to save up money for IUI and hoping that it will be the answer to our prayers. Also tomorrow James is finally going to our fertility center to have a semen analsis, it's been over two years since his surgery and I'm just praying the results turn out good:) I'll post with the results in a few days, wish us luck!
By the way if anyone reading this is suffering with infertility and lives in Utah I absolutely recommend Dr. Blauer at Reproductive Care Center in Sandy. Also if you're LDS he is too which I think is a definite plus!
Anyways regardless of when it happened it did and it hit me hard when we got married. On August 12, 2008 I married the love of my life when we were both only 19. Yes I know what you're all thinking and maybe we were crazy but it was right for us at that time. We never even thought to use birth control because first of all I have the hardest time swallowing pills so I prefer to not even try, second of all we were finally married so it was okay if we got pregnant right, and third of all we really wanted to have a baby so it was just fine with us if we had a honeymoon baby. Little did we know we wouldn't be having a honeymoon baby, or a baby by our first anniversary, or second and not even our third!
We started trying to have a baby as soon as we got married or rather than trying I should say we weren't preventing it because in the very beginning I don't think we knew all the ins and outs to getting pregnant, so I don't think we could consider us trying. Anyways the first month went by and my period was late and so I was thinking for sure I was pregnant, after all my period was never late. So I took the first of many tests I would ever take and BFN:( Well I wasn't really concerned because we had only been trying for one month and we were so young. So for the next year we just did our thing and hoped it would result in a BFP, but every month came and went with nothing to show for it.
This whole time I was thinking I was the problem because honestly I hadn't really heard about male infertility and whenever I thought about couples that couldn't get pregnant I would just assume something was wrong with the woman. I was so naive!! One night James and I were talking and I was just so frustrated that we weren't getting pregnant when all of a sudden he decides to bring up the fact that most likely it was him and that he had known this since he was about 12 and in boy scouts. I was so mad that he would wait this long to tell me and make me think something was wrong with me this whole time, so anyways I went straight to work to figure out what he had told me and what we could do about him problem. I read any book I could get my hands on that had to do with infertility and especially male factor infertility, and then when I realized what he had I found him a urologist to go see.
Well the doctor we found for James to go see was awesome, he was very nice and he truly cared about all our concerns. He did a physical exam for James and had us fill out some paperwork, just asking questions about if we were trying to get pregnant and if I had a doctor and all that stuff. He told us that he thought James had a varicocele but he wanted it confirmed with a scrotal ultrasound. We scheduled that for the next day and then left. So he had the scrotal ultrsound which I don't think James really appreciated, I mean what guy wants another man doing an ultrasound on their scrotum sorry tmi, but If I'm being open about everything that's the truth! So he did it and that's it, they didn't give us the results then he said our doctor would call us. About a week later or so Dr. Putman called us with the news that yes James did indeed have a very large varicocele and he would need to have surgery to remove it. I was kind of bummed but I thought that was going to be the case so I wasn't surprised. So we scheduled his surgery for September 4th and he went in a couple days before his surgery to have a semen analysis, to give us an idea of how bad everything was.
The results weren't too bad, he had a low sperm count which was to be expected with a varicocele and his motility was a little low but that's about it. By now you're probably thinking what the heck is a varicocele? Thanks for asking I'll explain. So basically it is like a varicose vein but instead of being in your legs it is in a man's scrotum, it's dilated veins and what happens is it makes the temperature of the scrotum just a little bit too hot for the production of sperm. Some sperm are still produced but usually they are shaped wrong or they don't swim very well Lol! So anyways I'm realizing this post is becoming oh so long so I'll speed it up and say he had his surgery everything went good with it, and he was told to come back in three months to have another semen analysis and check if the surgery improved things.
In the meantime or before this I can't quite remember I had my first appointment with Dr. Colby my OB/GYN who turned out to be such a nice man. He asked if we were trying to get pregnant and since we told him we had been trying for a year, he prescribed Clomid for me during days 3-7 of my cycle and also he told me he wanted me to have an HSG performed, now I know what you're thinking and yes I was wondering the exact thing what the heck is that and does it hurt? Well to answer the 1st question it is a test to check if your fallopian tubes are blocked and also if there are any fibroids or polyps in your uterus that might be impeding conception, who knew there could be so many reasons why a woman can't get pregnant it really makes you wonder how it actually happens all the time, all I can say is it is an absolute MIRACLE!! To answer the 2nd question it was really painful for me but I've heard it's different for every woman. It starts off like a normal pap smear where they insert a speculum and then they thread a catheter in the opening and inject it with some kind of dye. If the dye flows freely out your tubes you're all good, well I was all cleared YAY! So by now we were almost 100 % sure the issue was with James and he had the surgery so we thought we were good, little did we know we were far from achieving a pregnancy still.
So I'll just say now that we had two failed semen analsis', many changes in insurance so shifting around to different doctors, a couple times I went to the doctor because I was really late with my period which turned out to be a BFN, charting my temperature almost everyday, timing intercourse, getting my hopes up every month and then getting a negative everytime:( That pretty much sums up the whole next year, until I went to Dr. Colby one time because I was 12 days late and after the test was negative he basically said he thought I needed to go see a specialist because there wasn't really anything else he could do to help us get pregnant. Those are the words everyone going through infertility dreads hearing me included. I found Dr. Absolutely Amazing also known as Dr. Blauer who was absolutely worth every penny I paid to him ($333 for a one hour consultation I know gasp). Anyways he basically said the problem lies with James and we should do IUI, this brings us to today we're still trying to save up money for IUI and hoping that it will be the answer to our prayers. Also tomorrow James is finally going to our fertility center to have a semen analsis, it's been over two years since his surgery and I'm just praying the results turn out good:) I'll post with the results in a few days, wish us luck!
By the way if anyone reading this is suffering with infertility and lives in Utah I absolutely recommend Dr. Blauer at Reproductive Care Center in Sandy. Also if you're LDS he is too which I think is a definite plus!
